Oct. 1st, 2016

sinnie: (Default)
there are times i take steps back from my reality and look upon the world i exist in as nothing more than a narrative composed of many twists and turns in the plot line. seeing things in this way often keeps me from taking bitchslaps from the universe too personally.

i'm not saying it's healthy, but it's how i work with things.

.

we still are without permanent home. there have been SO many hurdles and surprises, shocks and starts, and long moments of wait and sees that i have just decided to schedule spurts of time each day where i bemoan my sad little lot in life and insist that we will NEVER get a house. boo hoo. sob sob. cry cry.

on top of the house hunt from hell, we had to deal with a relative stealing over 10K from my mother's checking account and the subsequent realization that my mom is getting ancient in years. how exciting, huh? the day after that bank + sheriff adventure (which husband did most of), we were hit with a lovely little HI, YOU OWE 15K MORE IN STATE TAXES, YOU PAY NOW OK? love note from the state of california tax franchise mafia board.

my friend e asked who i pissed off that cursed us, and i laughed. this crap is not externally based, it's all me....i create my own drama one way or another. the good news is that, as always, we have a plan and an escape route. the bad news is i am pissed about giving don corleone of california any more of my money; the fuckers get enough as it is.

luckily, we have an accountant that's great and that we're finally willing to let do more stuff than the taxes. bless his heart, he's inheriting a hot mess.

so, yeah. busy fun time!

.

my students this year are absolutely positively amazing and i really do love them all. i'm really starting to change things up a bit in the way i do things and even though it means i work harder, it means THEY work harder, too. at first, they were like WTF, WOMAN? and then things started morphing into these instances where i saw them take serious ass pride in what they are doing.

i am really proud of them and even prouder of myself.

.

all other things are just things at the moment because i'm so consumed with the desire to just step away from the world so i can hold myself together. i have to wonder how long scotch tape and elmer's glue will stay the ultimate explosion.

.

monday marks a new beginning -- of sorts -- for me. more on that later. and this time i mean it.

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sinnie

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